The day was merely a Tuesday.
The majority of a suburban mother’s life is made up of these calm, routine weekdays. To pick up my five-year-old son from kindergarten, I had just left work early, the sun was shining, and the traffic was manageable.
His name is Tim, and he is the type of child who has a distorted perspective of the world. Everything is thrilling. Everything is brand-new. I didn’t hesitate when he proudly showed me a paper plate turtle covered in glue and googly eyes after climbing into the backseat with glitter on his cheeks.
“Look, Mommy!” He held it up as if it were made of gold and smiled.
“Oh my god! Is that turtle a ninja?
He started giggling. It’s just Turtle, nooo. Although he is quite slow, he is pleasant.
I gave him his usual afternoon juice pouch, buckled him into his car seat, and laughed. Like a little knight wielding a lance, he drove the straw into the foil and took a loud gulp. Then he said something that made my entire world spin around, as casually as if he were making a weather comment.
Can we return to the playground by Daddy’s other house, Mommy? I miss his other children.
I blinked.
“Honey, whose children?”
As if I should already be aware, he said, “Daddy’s other kids.” “Those who also refer to him as Dad.” They had a bouncy couch and juice boxes.
A couch that bounces?
I tried to sound calm as I laughed nervously. “When did you visit that place?”
“When you were traveling for work on an airplane.” It’s a secret house, according to Daddy.
The aircraft. My final trip for work.
To show prospective investors our newest software, I would fly out to Austin for a three-day tech conference. My husband, Jake, had been adamant about staying at home with Tim. He had said, “Don’t worry about anything.” “I’ve got this.”
Until now, I hadn’t been concerned.
The House of Secrets
I got back in the car and tried to drive as if nothing had happened. On the wheel, though, my hands were trembling.
“What is meant by “secret house”?” I repeated my question.
Leaning forward in his car seat, Tim seemed to be sharing a big secret with me. “Don’t tell you,” said Daddy. It’s just for fun, he said. There was the largest TV ever and balloons everywhere! The entire wall was covered!
For the remainder of the ride, I remained silent. My mind was a mess, and my throat was constricted. I had never had any reason to doubt Jake. Although we weren’t flawless, we were reliable. Or so I believed.
I couldn’t get rid of the pictures of kids I’d never met referring to my husband as “Dad.” An enigmatic home. TVs, couches, and balloons. A falsehood.
Our house was the same when we pulled into our driveway. However, the feeling was different. Walking through a memory of my former life was how I felt.
After bath time and bedtime stories that evening, Tim fell asleep with his favorite stuffed animals by his side. I gripped his tablet as I sat on the edge of my bed.
For safety, we had GPS tracking installed on it. In case he ever forgot it at the park or school. With icy and unsteady fingers, I launched the app and navigated through the location history.
It was there.
A tiny dot that indicated a place I wasn’t familiar with. Not close to any of the parks or shops we visited. The distance is only around 20 minutes, on a residential street.
Also, it wasn’t a fast stop. That Saturday, the dot remained there for more than three hours.
There will be plenty of time for balloons, juice boxes, and new “siblings” who will call Jake “Dad.”
The House of Yellow
I dropped Tim off at school the following morning as if nothing had happened. I drove directly to the address, kissed his forehead, and warned him not to eat glue again.
There were potted plants, a wide porch, and a homemade sign in the yard that said, “Be Kind—Everyone’s Fighting a Battle You Can’t See.” The house was a light yellow color.
It didn’t appear to be the betrayal scene. It appeared… welcoming. Even peaceful.
I was still having trouble breathing. I waited while parking down the street. It was twenty minutes later. Then I caught sight of him.
Jake.
Perhaps two or three young girls held his hand as he left the yellow house. She was speaking to him in that quick, animated toddler voice that only young children possess, and her curly brown hair was tied up in pink bows. As she spoke, Jake smiled as if her words were important and nodded.
Then more children arrived.
A Superman cape was dragging behind one of them. Another was carrying a crayon box that was nearly too large for her arms. They were all around Jake, chatting, giggling, and tugging at his sleeves.
Then I caught sight of her.
Stepping out onto the porch was a woman with gentle gray curls tied in a loose bun and kind eyes. She gave me a direct look, waved, and smiled softly.
I was at a loss for what to do. She looked at me as if nothing was wrong, even though my world was in a complete meltdown.
She spoke to Jake.
He grinned when he turned and saw me in the car.
grinned.
No guilty expression. Not a “you caught me” expression. Simply serene acknowledgment. As if I should have been there.
Jake continued to hold the toddler’s hand as he approached me.
And my fear started to fade at that very moment. In a positive way, something didn’t add up.
The Veracity
Carol was the name the woman gave. This facility, Sunshine House, served as a transitional daycare and foster care facility for children in crisis, and she was a retired social worker.
A few of the children had been taken from homes that were unstable. Some were awaiting adoption matches or court dates. Others simply needed a safe haven while their families dealt with the most trying times in their lives.
For two months, Jake had volunteered on Saturdays.
He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, so he never brought it up. He didn’t do it to get attention. “Every kid deserves to feel like someone is proud to see them,” he said, which is why he was doing it.
Carol clarified that children were free to address the volunteers as “Mom” or “Dad” if they felt comfortable doing so. Even for a few hours a week, it made them feel normal.
Tim had understood correctly. He had simply accepted what he saw as fact. He believed the other children to be his siblings. Jake told him not to give away the surprise, so he assumed it was a secret—not because he was concealing anything.
An Alternative Form of Love
That day, I drove home quietly. With awe, not with rage. I was embarrassed by the terrible pictures my imagination had conjured up. The man I married was acting bravely, empathetically, and selflessly, but I had doubted him.
He had no other relatives.
He was helping children who didn’t have a heart.
I gave Jake a closer hug that night than I had in weeks. I expressed my gratitude to him, not only for his candor but also for being the kind of person who supports kids who are in dire need of someone to believe in them.
We then took a seat and spoke with Tim.
In the most gentle manner possible, we told him everything. We described those children and the reasons Daddy assists with their care. “I like them,” he said with a slow nod. They’re pleasant. Next time, may I bring my turtle?