I don’t remember the crash. Not exactly.
There was rain—gentle at first, then relentless, drumming like fingertips across the windshield. I remember my mom laughing beside me. My fingers tapped the wheel as I rambled about Nate, the guy in my chem class with a crooked smile and too much cologne.
She glanced over, smirking.
“He sounds like trouble, Maeve.”
Then came the headlights.
Too fast. Too close.
Then came the screaming.
I was no longer in the car. I didn’t know how I got out. My knees were soaked in mud, my hands covered in blood that wasn’t mine.
Mom was sprawled across the pavement, twisted wrong, her eyes wide and staring at nothing. I screamed her name over and over, my voice raw and tearing until the sirens drowned me out.
I heard someone mention a drunk driver.
Then another voice said, “The mother was driving.”
I wanted to say they were wrong. That it wasn’t her. That it was me. But my voice wouldn’t work. My mind couldn’t hold onto the words.
Then everything went black.
When I woke, I was in a hospital bed, blinking against too-bright lights. Machines beeped. A nurse hovered. My body ached, dull and heavy, and in the blur of it all, the door creaked open.
For half a second, I thought it was Mom.
But it was Thomas. My father.
He looked older. More tired than I remembered. He sat beside me and laid a hand over mine, awkward and unfamiliar.
“Hey, kid,” he said.
And just like that, I knew she wasn’t coming.
Two weeks later, I woke up in a different bed. In a house that didn’t feel like mine.
Julia was humming in the kitchen. She moved like someone trying too hard to feel normal.
She placed a bowl in front of me—oatmeal topped with flaxseeds, blueberries, and a hopeful smile. “I added hemp hearts,” she offered, like that might magically make the grief go away.
I stared at the spoon. My stomach growled, but I couldn’t eat it. I wanted cheap waffles. I wanted pancakes at midnight with my mom at Sam’s Diner, watching the guy who always fell asleep in booth six.
I pushed the bowl away. Julia said nothing, just slid a protein ball across the table like an offering. I didn’t touch that either.
She sighed. “Your dad went out for diapers for—”
I was already standing. Already walking out of the kitchen. I didn’t want to hear his name. I didn’t want to know my baby brother. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
The trial came fast. The man who hit us—Calloway—was sitting at a table across the room, looking down at his hands. Wrinkled suit. Blank face. No apology.
I sat stiff in my seat, my palms sweating, my mind circling like a vulture. I wanted him to look at me. I wanted him to see what he took.
When my name was called, I stood on legs that didn’t feel like mine.
I sat. I breathed.
“What happened that night, Maeve?”
I told them we were driving home. That it was raining. That he hit us.
Then Calloway’s lawyer asked who was driving.
And I lied.
I nodded. Said it was Mom.
But a crack had formed.
Later that night, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t breathe. The truth pressed in.
The keys had been in my hand.
Mom had handed them to me in the driveway.
“You dragged me out to pick you up, Mae. You drive.”
I could see the leather steering wheel. I could hear our laughter. I could feel the panic rising as the headlights swallowed us whole.
I told my father.
We were sitting in the living room. He had a drink in his hand. When I said it, his body went still.
“She gave me the keys. We were talking about dumb stuff. Then it rained. And I didn’t see him.”
The sobs ripped out of me. He didn’t yell. He didn’t flinch. He just pulled me into his arms and let me fall apart.
“It wasn’t your fault, Maeve,” he whispered.
I wanted to believe him. I really did.
Later, I crept upstairs—but paused when I heard him talking to Julia in the kitchen.
“She told me,” he said. “She was driving.”
The way he said it made me cold.
“She asked Mara to pick her up. If she hadn’t… If Mara had just driven them home…”
He didn’t finish the thought.
“She’s a stranger to me, Jules. I love her, but I don’t know her.”
It was like losing my mom all over again. Hearing that. Knowing he was right.
We’d shared holidays, birthdays, distant memories. But not a life. Not until now.
The next morning, I opened my mother’s trunk.
She always said it held pieces of her. “Little things that tie us to great memories.”
Inside, I found a velvet box. And a letter.
I knew I shouldn’t read it. But I did.
It was to my father.
She talked about me. About my fire. My mess. My brilliance. She asked if maybe, just maybe, he was ready to be the father I needed.
She hadn’t been sure.
If she could have doubts, so could I.
Maybe I could try. Maybe he could, too.
Calloway took a plea. He confessed. Got less time, but it didn’t feel like justice.
Still, I stood in front of my mother’s photo and whispered, “I’m sorry. I love you. I miss you.”
And I swear, she heard me.
The next morning, Julia made real waffles. Syrup, butter—the works.
She smiled. “Don’t tell the other vegans.”
I smiled back. Small, but real.
Later, I found my dad on the porch.
“Did I disappoint you?”
He looked stunned.
“No. Never. I was just… unprepared. I’ve always been watching from the sidelines. And now I’m here, and I didn’t know how to help.”
I nodded.
“I’ve been awful,” I admitted. “To you. To Julia. To Duncan.”
My throat tightened. “He’s a baby. He deserves better.”
“You don’t have to be perfect,” he said. “Just be here.”
I looked down at my hands. “I want to paint a mural in his room. Dinosaurs, maybe. And I’ll learn to make Julia’s weird vegan curry. I probably won’t like it. But I’ll try.”
He chuckled. Then pulled me into a hug. And this time, I let him.
For the first time since the crash, I let myself believe—
Maybe I could still belong here.
Maybe this isn’t the end of the story.
Maybe it’s the beginning.