Wife receives a divorce letter from husband

Dear Wife,

I’m writing to let you know that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve tried to be a good husband for our 7 years of marriage, but I have nothing to show for it.

The past two weeks have been incredibly tough. Your boss informed me that you quit your job today, and that was the final straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t notice my new haircut, the fact that I cooked your favorite meal, or that I was wearing new silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, then went straight to sleep after watching your TV shows. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, and there’s no intimacy between us. Whether you’re cheating or just don’t love me anymore, it’s over.

I’m leaving, and your sister and I are moving to West Virginia together. Have a great life!

Your Ex-Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me.

Dear Ex-Husband,

Receiving your letter made my day. Yes, we’ve been married for 7 years, but a good man you are not. I watch TV to drown out your constant whining, which doesn’t even work.

I noticed your haircut, but it made you look like a girl, so I decided not to comment. When you cooked “my favorite meal,” you must have confused me with my sister, as I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. As for the new silk boxers, I turned away because they still had the $49.99 price tag, and my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.

Despite all this, I still loved you and thought we could make it work. So when I won $10 million in the lottery, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home, you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. My lawyer says your letter ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich and Free!

P.S. My sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!

Related Posts

When Flat Tires Meet Flat Responses!

Daughter: Dad, I have a flat tire! Dad: Can’t you call your husband? Daughter: I tried, he didn’t answer. Dad: Do you have a spare? Daughter: He…

Dan Bongino Shares Heartbreaking News With Fans During Show

Dan Bongino, a popular conservative podcaster and former Fox News star, told his fans some very sad news on his show on Friday. Bongino started his show…

A Simple Method for Improving Thick Toenails

Toenail issues are more common than many people realize, affecting individuals of all ages. Problems can range from discoloration to thickening, which not only impact appearance but…

Reba McEntire, 69, stuns in lace at 2024 ACM Awards

Reba McEntire made country music history last week, hosting the American Country Music (ACM) Awards for a record-breaking 17th time, and it’s safe to say she brought…

Ree Drummond Set to Become a ‘Young, Awesome, and Cool’ Granny ‘At 31’ – Details about Her Daughter Alex’s First Pregnancy

Ree Drummond, known affectionately as “The Pioneer Woman,” is entering a heartwarming new chapter as she prepares to become a grandmother for the first time. Her eldest…

America’s Oldest Department Store

In a year already strained by global upheavals, 2020 marked the end of an era for Lord & Taylor, the oldest department store in the U.S. Founded…