Bob had a habit of enjoying his evenings a bit too much, and one night was no exception. He stumbled into bed late, slipping in quietly beside his peacefully sleeping wife. Unbeknownst to him, the night held more surprises than he could ever imagine.As dawn broke, Bob didn’t wake up in his familiar bedroom but instead found himself standing before the majestic Pearly Gates.
“Am I dreaming?” he wondered aloud.
St. Peter, with a clipboard in hand, greeted him warmly.
“Bob, I’m afraid you passed away in your sleep.”
Bob’s jaw dropped.
“This can’t be! I’m not ready to go. I’ve got so much to live for!”
St. Peter, empathizing with his plight, offered a solution.
“Well, there is one way you can return—but only as a chicken.”Bob, desperate to get back to life, reluctantly agreed. Before he could protest further, he was instantly transported to a nearby farm, now covered in feathers and clucking involuntarily.
Bob blinked and looked around, his surroundings a blur of green pastures, clucking hens, and a proud-looking rooster strutting nearby. It took him a moment to process what had just happened.
“I’m… a chicken,” he muttered, glancing down at his feathery body and clawed feet.
Before he could delve too deeply into the existential crisis of his transformation, the rooster sauntered over with a knowing grin.
“New here, huh?” the rooster said, sizing Bob up. “Don’t worry, it’s not so bad. Name’s Rudy. Welcome to the coop.”
Bob stared, still adjusting to the absurdity of the situation. “I—I guess I’ll figure it out. What do I even do as a chicken?”
Rudy chuckled. “It’s simple, really. Eat, scratch the dirt, lay eggs. Speaking of which, you look a little… uncomfortable. Feeling some pressure?”
Bob paused and realized there was, indeed, a peculiar sensation in his lower half. “Now that you mention it, yeah. What’s going on?”
Rudy’s grin widened. “Ah, rookie move. You’ve got your first egg coming! Just squat and let nature do its thing.”
Panic set in as Bob clucked nervously. “An egg? I have to… lay an egg?”
“Relax,” Rudy assured him. “It’s all instinct. Just breathe and let it happen.”
With little choice in the matter, Bob waddled to a quiet spot and squatted. To his surprise, the process wasn’t as unpleasant as he’d feared. A few moments later, he stood up, marveling at the smooth, oval egg lying beneath him.
“I did it,” he said, a mix of awe and disbelief in his voice. “I laid an egg!”
Pride swelled within him. For a brief moment, Bob felt strangely accomplished. But that moment was short-lived.
“Bob! Wake up!” a familiar voice broke through his reverie.
Bob shot up, his heart pounding. He was no longer in the barnyard but back in his bedroom, his wife shaking him gently. The soft morning light poured through the curtains, and the sounds of the world around him grounded him in reality.
“You were making the strangest noises in your sleep,” she said, eyeing him curiously. “Are you okay?”
Bob’s hand flew to his chest, half-expecting feathers. He glanced down to confirm he was human once more. “Yeah… yeah, I’m fine. Just had the weirdest dream.”
His wife smirked. “Must’ve been all those late-night drinks. You need to cut back.”
Bob nodded absently, still processing the surreal experience. “You’re right. Maybe I should take it easy.”
As his wife turned to leave the room, Bob muttered under his breath, “But I’ll never look at breakfast eggs the same way again.”