…is still the same thing it always was. A best friend is the sibling you chose for yourself, the one who covered for you when your crush held hands with someone else on the playground. The rituals have just traded notes for notifications along the way.

Conflicts and Making Up

Back then, a fight could start over something as small as your BFF letting your digital pet die while you were on vacation. It felt like an unforgivable betrayal. These days, adults supposedly don’t fight outright — instead, we leave passive-aggressive comments on Facebook or quietly stop liking each other’s Instagram posts.

Making up used to mean a folded note passed in class, covered in frowny faces, hearts dotting the i’s, and signed off with LYLAS — love you like a sister. Now the peace offering is more likely a twelve-dollar Starbucks order and a smiling selfie posted together to put the whole thing behind you.

Nights Out and Finding Love

Friday nights in the ’90s meant the mall, fake nose rings from Claire’s, and sneaking into an R-rated movie you had no business watching. Today, going out has been replaced by staying in — a Netflix binge and a bottle or twelve of wine counts as a full night.

Playing wingwoman also used to take real strategy. You’d consult a cootie catcher to determine your true love, then stage a run-in during science class while your BFF ran interference. Now the job is simpler but somehow more time-consuming: fourteen hours spent hunting someone down on Facebook with nothing to go on but his middle name.

Squad goals have shrunk too. In the ’90s, the dream was rounding up three more girls cool enough to pretend you were the Spice Girls. These days you only need one other person to pull off the Single Ladies dance, and honestly, one great BFF is plenty since you’re not much of a people person anymore.

Gossip, Heartbreak, and Staying Connected

The gossip itself has changed subjects entirely. It used to revolve around your enemy showing up in the same scrunchie, stealing your slap bracelet, or handing out Warhead candies to everyone except you. Now the drama is more likely to be a deep dive into Game of Thrones.

Heartbreak support has gotten fancier, too. A breakup in the ’90s called for your BFF showing up with an extra Cosmic Brownie. Today it takes yoga, a mani-pedi, five-dollar wine, and a girls’ night out where she runs off anyone who dares hit on you.

Staying in touch used to mean walking over and ringing the doorbell, or calling the house phone and awkwardly waiting while her dad went to find her. Now, somehow, words have become optional — a well-placed emoji says everything that needs saying.

Trouble, Loyalty, and Lasting Bonds

Getting in trouble together was once refreshingly innocent: Ding Dong Ditch, TP-ing the neighbor’s yard, a whoopie cushion under the music teacher’s chair. These days, if your BFF doubles as your work wife, the trouble is showing up late because you both decided an impromptu Starbucks run came first.

Sticking up for each other has changed shape as well. On the playground, the move was running straight to Mom and Dad. Now it’s far less direct — a fabulous night out, followed by posting plenty of pictures so the haters know exactly what they weren’t invited to.

Even showing off the friendship has evolved. Homemade bracelets were the ’90s way of proving an unbreakable bond. Today, some best friends take it a step further with matching tattoos.

However the rituals shift from decade to decade, the point of having a best friend never really does. Whether it’s a note signed LYLAS or a Starbucks selfie, the goal is the same: someone who shows up, forgives the small betrayals, and sticks around through all of it.