30 Minutes ago in Texas, George W. Bush was confirmed as…See more

Former President George W. Bush was unexpectedly named the WNBA’s first Honorary Commissioner during the Dallas Wings’ home opener. The 43rd president told reporters, “After the White House, I figured I’d finally take a job where the plays are actually bipartisan,” while sporting a personalized “Dubya for Three” jersey. Bush’s longtime support of women’s sports and his well-known 2023 appearance at a Wings game, in which he enthusiastically displayed his free-throw form, were cited by the league as inspiration for the position.

The action caused instantaneous reactions in the sports and political spheres. Michelle Obama, the former first lady, tweeted, “Who’s next? WNBA player Brittney Griner greeted Bush with a cheeky “I hope you like dunking on Twitter trolls, sir.” (Really, this is awesome.),” One ESPN analyst said, “He’ll bring more attention to the league in one week than most politicians do in a lifetime,” indicating that even detractors recognized the astute PR strategy.

Bush’s responsibilities will include advocating for increased media coverage, giving ceremonial tip-offs, and creating a unique “Freedom Ball” for the 2024 All-Star Game, which pays homage to his painting hobby. He joked during the press conference, “I promise no hanging chads on the scoreboard,” before participating in an unplanned three-point shootout with Wings players (sources confirm he went 1-for-10).

Bush’s appointment is expected to strengthen the WNBA’s position on gender equality in sports. The former president gave his supporters his trademark Bushism as he walked out of the court: “Fool me once… shame on you.” Let’s just say that these women are not fooled at all. Fool me twice. Next week marks the start of the league’s season, and nobody anticipated the unexpected presidential endorsement.