The man finished his confession, said his prayers, and then headed over to the poor box. He paused briefly, then turned to leave. The priest, observing this, hurried over and said, “I saw that! You didn’t put any money in the poor box!”

The man replied, “I rubbed $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s just as good as putting it in!”

Another day, a married man entered the confessional and told his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.”

The priest asked, “What do you mean, ‘almost’?”

The man replied, “Well, we got undressed, got close, and rubbed together, but I stopped before going any further.”

The priest responded, “Rubbing together is the same as going all the way. You’re not to see that woman again. For penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.”

After receiving his penance, the man left the confessional, said his Hail Marys, and made his way to the poor box. He paused for a moment, then turned to leave without putting any money inside.

The priest, noticing this, called out, “I saw that! You didn’t put the $50 in the poor box like I told you!”

The man turned back with a sly smile and replied, “I rubbed the $50 on the box, Father. According to what you said, that’s just as good as putting it in!”