THE F-WORD

This man goes to confession and says, “Forgive me father for I have sinned. The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the “F-word” over the weekend. The priest says, “Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language. The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the “F-word”. The priest sighs and tells him to continue. Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church. The priest says, “And you got upset over that and The man replied, “No, that wasn’t why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive weil left into the trees. The priest said, “And that’s when you swore.” The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, “No, it wasn’t. When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and i had a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit the ball,a squirrel ran by and grabbed my ball and scurried up a tree.The priest asked, “Is that when you said the ‘F. word’?” The man replied, “No, because an eagle then flew by and caught the squire in its shard aloes new flew away.” The priest let out a breath and queried, “Is that when you swore?” The man replied, “No, because the eagle flew over the areen and the dying squirrel let go of my golf bal and it landed within 5 inches of the hole.” The priest screamed, “Don’t tell me you missed thee f….ing putt!”

A man walks into a confessional and says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

The priest nods and asks, “Would you like to confess your sins?”

The man replies, “Yes, Father. I used the ‘F-word’ over the weekend.”

The priest, relieved it’s not something worse, says, “Alright, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language.”

But the man insists, “Father, I’d really like to explain why I said it.”

The priest sighs and says, “Alright, go ahead.”

“Well, Father, I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church.”

The priest frowns and asks, “And that’s what upset you?”

“No, that’s not why I swore,” the man says. “On the first tee, I duck-hooked my drive way left into the trees.”

The priest nods. “Ah, that’s when you swore.”

“No,” the man replies, a little annoyed by the interruptions. “When I walked up the fairway, I saw that my ball had gotten a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green. But just as I was about to hit it, a squirrel ran by, grabbed my ball, and scurried up a tree.”

The priest raises an eyebrow. “Is that when you said the ‘F-word’?”

“No, because right then, an eagle swooped down, caught the squirrel in its talons, and flew away.”

The priest, now leaning forward, asks, “And that’s when you swore?”

“No,” the man continues, “because as the eagle flew over the green, the dying squirrel dropped my ball, and it landed five inches from the hole.”

The priest, wide-eyed, suddenly shouts, “Don’t tell me you missed the f**ing putt!*”